HiHi!!
**Warning: Movie Spoilers Ahead**
In honor of Halloween, I really wanted to try and watch a bunch of horror films before the big day! Sadly, I got really busy with work and was therefore unable to do so;
however, on the final day of October, I decided that I was going to watch
AT LEAST one scary movie before the end of the month!
So, while browsing Netflicks,
I came across a number of classics and great looking movie posters,
but in the end, I chose to watch "The Human Centipede" movies.
.................(-___-)....................
This may have been one of my biggest mistakes EVER!
Now, the reason why I chose to watch THIS monstrosity was because of all the
reviews and things I had heard about the movie.
For one: I had heard that it was good... Ya, definitely not...!
However, I DID give it a chance.
"The Human Centipede" is about two girls visiting Germany.
On their first night, they get lost and somehow get lost in the woods on a rainy night.
So, these brilliant ladies decide to go WALKING in the
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to find some help.....
Uhm... ya, bout that....
Anyways, they happen upon the house of a creepy doctor who drugs them.
Next they wake, they're bound to operating tables in his basement completely naked.
After retrieving one more "patient," a random Japanese guy who yells a lot,
the doctor explains to them his plans:
To surgically link three humans together through mouth and anus in order to create
a human centipede.
So, the movie continues.
The operation is a success, and the audience witnesses the suffering of these poor people.
The sad thing was the fact that the doctor kept making me laugh...
Just the way he would react to some of the things his "pet" did,
or the fact that he seemed so overjoyed with his success.
I know, I'm crazy, but he just made me laugh, ok??
In the end, a couple of cops reach his home in the middle of the woods,
looking for some reported missing people.
The doctor drugs one, and eventually kills them both,
but one cop is able to shoot the doctor before going down himself.
Throughout this whole process, however,
the human centipede is slowly making progress at an escape.
One of the girls (the back end of the centipede) is sick because of the operation
and eventually dies before the movie's end.
The Japanese guy slits his own throat as a statement to the doctor,
"I'd rather die a human, than like this."
With the doctor, the idiot cops, and her companions all dead,
she is left alone.
And that's how the movie ends.
So, even though it wasn't the best movie,
I found it just a little interesting.
The doctor was a good comedy relief, and the science behind it all was intriguing-
is this really something a person is capable of??
Either way, after it was done I noticed that it wasn't really late
(only 2AM, no big deal).
So I figured, why don't I watch the second one???
.............*lesigh*............
I seriously don't see WHY this movie exists!!!
It's just so disgusting!
At least in the first one I had the doctor to entertain me,
but in this one I just kept looking at the time, just waiting for the end to come!
"The Human Centipede 2" is a black and white movie set in London.
Sounds cool, right??????
At least, that's what I thought at first...
Anyways- the movie is centered around this mentally challenged man who lives with his mother.
For one thing, he is absolutely not attractive,
and although the director went out of his way to do so,
this guy is just plain CREEPY!!!
Every time he had a close up, I screamed inside.
(my roommate was sleeping)
So this guy, a huge fan of the first movie,
decides that he wants to make a 12man human centipede!
He starts killing and collecting people at his work, a car garage,
and disposing them in an empty warehouse.
And he has no mercy either:
He takes a pregnant lady and her husband, leaving their son crying in the car.
His ultimate goal, it seemed, was to get the original actress from the movie as a victim.
And he does,
and she plays the completely ditzy actress asking no questions as to
WHY he was leading her to a dirty old warehouse on a rainy day!
...but,you know, whatever...
Once she arrives, he begins his work.
His anesthesia was bashing their heads in, his bandaging was the duct tape,
and how did he connect them all??
Yep, scissors, staples and duct tape...
I was gagging like the whole scene that he "operated" on them.
And because nothing he did was sanitary, people were just dying.
Eventually it got it working,
but in the end all the people died from either sickness
or from bleeding after pulling themselves apart.
The leading lady, the actress, fought back by force-feeding the guy his pet centipede.
Of course, this was after the pregnant lady, whom we all assumed was dead,
runs out of the warehouse in the midst of labor.
She runs out into the rain, gets in a car,
THE BABY IS BORN ON THE CAR FLOOR
BUT SHE DON'T CARE!!
KUZ SHE JUST PUTS HER FOOT DOWN THE PEDAL CRUSHING ITS HEAD
AND SPLATTERING BLOOD ALL OVER THE CAMERA!!!!
........................
Jeezus, that whole scene I was just like:
"Wait. WTF is happe- O GAWD, WHAT!?!?!?!"
........................
After ALL THIS CRAP HAPPENS,
the guy wakes up...
Turns out, he was just dreaming the whole thing.
.........So, ya..........
That is four hours of my life I will NEVER get back!
I can't remember who told me it was a good movie,
but I need to go punch them, or something for having put me through that!!
Ok, I'm going to go watch some Disney movies, or Poke'mon,
OR SOMETHING HAPPY TO GET THIS STUFF OUT OF MY HEAD!
((Hopefully, next year the horror movie genre will be able to redeem itself.))
Till Next Time:
Remember to KEEP IT GENKI!!
☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆
